So I am in the profession of being a Fashion Designer (Now, this profession, unless you have a real JOB JOB, won’t get you any money). I’ve been mulling over what to do in terms of a job for some time now and despite my hatred for a certain word (ECONOMY), I feel like I must use it to explain why I’ve been such a bum. I went through a period earlier this year, where things were just not going right in this sector of my life. It could have something to do with the way I was feeling and what I was attracting into my life…or not attracting. I’d have to say it was the first time in a long time, that I doubted myself, wasn’t sure if I had made the right decisions, and was briefly contemplating jumping off into an abyss of self-pity. I’ve always had a goal, something to be ambitious about and yet, in that moment, it could have been for naught…my years of pushing myself for more, more, more happiness.
I mean, I’m not completely starving (yet) and I do have talent, I just need some motivation. It’s been close to a year since I graduated from my program and I haven’t done anything, except for showing my pieces from my final collection in a few shows here and there. I’m really sick of looking at the designs to be quite honest with you. They sit in their lovely homes (plastic garment bags) and sulk. Several friends and I have lamented over the utter revulsion we feel when we look at what we’ve done. Not because they are ugly, but just because we’ve looked at them for too long, seen them being paraded down countless runways and…we are so over it.
But every time I feel like giving up, I remind myself that I do not want to work a boring job behind some desk (exactly what I am doing now…temporarily), I do not want to do retail, and I do not like feeling like I’m a bottom-feeder (Thank-you parents. Heart you forever!). I’m not exactly young, nor am I old. I’m really just having a roadblock in my life. Someone please give me direction! I am working now on my own line…but mixed in with that is my need to travel the world. Now with no money to do that and no ideas to motivate me, how am I gonna do what I want?
What I really need is…INSPIRATION. I’m trying to find that in music, good-reads, magazines, art, life, relationships, friendships, memories, environment, experiences, just plain being here…in this moment. Any inspiring suggestions, anyone??