So now that I am officially done attending all the weddings that I was invited to this summer season, all I have to say is…Planning for a wedding is probably exhausting.
It’s so much work, time, effort, organization, and money. It’s like a business venture, really. You have to think of several factors (And this is just the major items on the checklist. You still have to sweat the small stuff):
1) Mission Statement:
* Usually it would be something along the lines of “Since we’re getting married, we need to get our shit together pronto.”
* How much you’re willing to shell out to have all your family and friends come and get drunk with you.
* Numbers people, numbers! Who are you going to invite? And who are you NOT inviting?
4) Organizational Structure: (Not sure what number priority this would be, so I’m just going to stick it here.)
* Who is going to be in your bridal party? And again…numbers!
* How many people do you need in your extended entourage to get the job started, running, and done?
4) Supply and Demand:
* Date and Location. You gotta get on this quick! Because chances are, the best venues are booked 2 years in advance. If so, either find another place or change the date. Or you can duke it out with the other couple that stole “your day and your venue”…(those silly goats). Now, you also have to think menu and alcohol. What do you want your guests to eat? And how much are you willing to pay per head for open bar? Or even for you to bring your own alcohol. If it’s out of your budget, think hard and quick about your back-up venue.
* Party Favours. What are you going to give away that will blow everyone else’s party favours out of the water?? And where can you get them in the quantity you want, for CHEAP??
* The wedding dress, bridal party dresses, and tuxes fall under this category. Actually…anything you have to BUY falls under this category.
* How the heck are you going to get from point A to point B to point C and…well, you get the point. Fancy car? Private jet? Helicopter? And who’s going to operate the damn thing. Oh and let’s not forget, the “what” that exactly needs to be transported. (Decorations, cake, your bridal party, etc.)
OR, you could just hire a wedding planner and save yourself HALF the trouble and pain. OR you can hire ME to create trouble for you and it would not pain me to do so.
Remember, the general rule here is that the more extravagant your plans are, the more money you’ll be dishing out…so all in all, how much is it worth to you, to actually get married?? (Btw, this is just for me to amuse you. I get why people want to get married…I think.)
So, enjoy the following song that is so sickly sweet and played to death at pretty much all the weddings I attended. Also, as a parting tip, if you are musically inclined, you could add a final touch to your “plans” by doing your own cover version for your “other half”. I’m sure you can make them cry.
“Lucky” – Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat