Handstands

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“Bruises” – Chairlift

You know that saying: “Is the glass half empty or half full?”; Well, I say the following blurb in my capacity to know that I see life as a glass half full. (This would seem to indicate that I will be taking an optimistic stand-point for the remainder of this post.) Half empty and half full, that’s like comparing black to white, panda bears to dogs that look like panda bears (they aren’t really panda bears!), or even apples to oranges. But what about the middle stuff, the grey matter? How important is that?

When you strip everything away and down to the bare foundation, there’s always a yes or no answer. You weigh out the pros and the cons and in most cases, one side of the scale will tip over. In love, or in lustlove, or even in like, I’m very simple. If I like you, love you, or lust after you, I KNOW. There is no middle ground for me. For me to take that risk and be potentially embarassed, injured or heart-broken, I am putting myself on the line. In matters of the heart, I do not half-ass it. I repeat, I DO NOT HALF-ASS IT. I am in that moment with you whole-heartedly. Can the same be said for the other party you may wonder? Well, whoever knows? I sure as don’t. And even if you tell me you are or aren’t, I am a great believer in observing. You can tell a lot from people’s actions, more so than the words that can come tumbling out of their mouth or fingertips. (i.e. typing; be it online or texting or “pinning”)

I’ve been told a variety of things, such as to: “move on”; “let it go”; and “stop thinking about it, forget about it”. And my responses are: “I have”; “I have”; and “I kinda don’t want to”. And why should I? Even if I had a brain switch that allowed me to do so, I probably wouldn’t. To some, it may seem nonsensical and odd for me to feel that deeply about someone whom I barely knew, but sometimes it just happens.

I love the complexities of my feelings. I love knowing that I have the capacity to feel that intensely for someone, for something. Some people go through life searching and seeking for these emotions, and I can say that I was lucky enough to know the exhilaration and also the deflation of it. For every high point, there is a low point. If the scale tips too much to one side, things will end up being catastrophic in some way or other, whereby one party benefits and the other doesn’t. Someone is bound to be hurt or injured and covered with bruises. For myself, I can say I choose not to forget because it makes me feel alive.

I willingly, without falter, flaunt my bruises to show how capable I am of playing this game and no matter how many times I’m bowled over, I’ll always mend. My bruises will go from black and blue to gone from view. I’m going to take that half glass and fill it right up to overflowing.

I love this cello cover version of “Bruises” by Chairlift

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