Open Concept: Lost and F….

2009 started with a BOOM and ended with a BANG. 2010, I am ready for whatever you may bring. May it be something fantastical and wonderful; Something that leaves an imprint on my soul, my heart, my whole being. Or it could be something completely the polar opposite of any of that and leave me wanting to throw up in fear, disappoint or pure frustration.

I am slowly falling into something akin to a hot, melting pool of wax. Now, as long as the temperature stays hot, I can stay immersed for as long as I want. However, I do have to make the decision to stay or go. Do I step out and let the wax harden, leaving me in a solid state? How will I melt off the hardened wax? Or do I stay submerged until I am in over my head?

If the choice was completely mine, I know what my heart would say, but sometimes I just need to use my head. How do I hold onto something and yet, let it go at the same time? Fear is what controls me most, I believe. Fear of the unknown; Fear of the consequences of my actions; Fear of never returning to the same place again. That makes me want to cry for something that hasn’t been lost yet. And if it becomes lost…….will I ever find it again?

“Basic Space” – The xx

Neck, chest, waist to floor
Easy to take, you could take me in fours
Make me a deal, a day a piece
Take it all, just stay a week

I’ll take you in pieces
We can take it all apart
I’ve suffered shipwrecks right from the start
I’ve been underwater, breathing out and in
I think I’m losing where you end and I begin

Basic space, open air
Don’t look away, when there’s nothing there

I’m setting us in stone
Piece by piece, before I’m alone
Air tight, before we break
Keep it in, keep us safe

It’s a pool of boiling wax
I’m getting in
Let it set
Got to seal this in
Can’t adjust, Can’t relearn
Got to keep what I have, preserve

Basic space, open air
Don’t look away, when there’s nothing there

Hot wax has left me with a shine
Wouldn’t know if I’d been left behind
Second skin, second skin

I can’t let it out, I still let you in
I can’t let it out, I still let you in

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